Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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