dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
