? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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