God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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