Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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