We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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