My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
