I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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