I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize