we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
