I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
