So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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