yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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