To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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