In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so let's talk penis.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize