The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
handjob tips. give me some.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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