what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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