Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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