her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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