There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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