I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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