community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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