sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
