Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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