Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize