I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
