I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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