I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
a search helicopter?!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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