Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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