Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It was a blind-side dick pic.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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