who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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