WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
