Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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