you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I need a beard to bite.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
