Porn is love you can see.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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