I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
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