i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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