I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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