I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
