So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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