Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
