like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
