Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
