You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
