Pants 0. Shit 1.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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