how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
