coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
