my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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