the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
