i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
