Sponge bath it is.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
