You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
