The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
