I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
