When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
