i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
