I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
What a dumb baby whore.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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