After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
