I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
