do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
