Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
