So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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