ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
