if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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