Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I would fuck him just for his dog
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
