Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
